I jokingly pointed it out to my new husband and he smiled in agreement that it was fitting to see that book in the midst of us buying Christmas gifts for his side of the family. But it stuck in my mind as a reminder of what we both committed to 3 weeks ago.
Family here in Kenya is a big deal, but not without its similarities to families back home. I wanted to share some of the cultural observations that I've noticed in the past week or so which has been very mentally exhausting for me at times as I've met more and more new Kenyan relatives.
Once one Aunty or uncle knows you're in town (especially if you have been living overseas and now bringing a foreign wife back with you), it soon follows that everyone will know. And everyone will want to see you both. We have spent all this past week going from home to home, me being introduced to aunties, uncles and cousins, nephews, grand-nephews, friends, friends of friends.... Etc. Drinking copious amounts of chai, eating anything from rice dishes, to meat dishes, chapatis, pancakes, fruit, salads, ugali... and whatever else they have rustled up to serve. Even when you're just popping in for a cuppa, there's usually food first. Even if you've just had a meal at one place, there will be more food to eat at the next and because it is rude not to accept it, you eat some more...until you think your tummy will burst.
Funnily enough, because most of the food is carb-based, you fill up so fast, but then you're starving again by the time you get home late at night...so you eat more bread because it's cheap and filling and doesn't require cooking. For a person that has spent almost two years changing my diet to low carb, high protein/fat, going back to a very high carb/ low fat way of eating has messed my insides up. Without going into too much detail, I'm sure you can imagine the sounds and smells that are plaguing me presently. Haha, moving on!!
Anyway, let me go back to the beginning- when you arrive at your hosts place, there's a lot of "Karibu, karibu" which means 'welcome' in Kiswahili, usually that's followed by 'asante sana' (thank you very much) and you're told to 'sit anywhere!'
When greeting a Kenyan, depending on how comfortable they are with you (and especially for me being the newcomer and foreigner), they will extend a hand to shake (except it's more of just a gentle grasp) or embrace you with a 'one cheek, other cheek, first cheek again' touch while holding your hand or hugging. I've had all variations, so I'm assuming that's either a sign of how comfortable they are with me, or just how they do it as individuals. It's very genuine and very welcoming either way. Whenever someone else arrives, they make their way around the room shaking hands even to their parents. There's such a sense of good manners and acknowledging each person, it's really lovely to observe.
I've been told at every home that I am most welcome and I am now family and Kenya is my home so I am very welcomed. It's an answer to prayer really, I left Australia thinking it could go either way, and all I desired was just to be accepted. It's heartwarming.
After introductions and hellos, it's time to eat!
Food can be eaten with your fingers, it's quite acceptable and even encouraged at times. Usually someone (either the aunt or a cousin) will bring a bowl and jug around to each person so that they can wash their hands before eating. One thing I've noticed about Kenyans is that they have such servant hearts. The younger generation never complain when told they are to serve the tea, or take the wash bowl around to the guests, and the older generations encourage you to keep eating until all the food has gone (which has been one of my struggles as I just can't eat big serves). They have given us their best from what they have, gone to lengths to make certain dishes for us and it's really humbling when you know the place you're visiting is not as "well off" as the last, yet they want to share what they have with you, even if it's just a simple rice dish.
Once the meal is finished, then tea is served (chai). Kenyans love their chai. It's made in large quantities on the stove and then stored in a big vacuum flask to keep hot for the rest of the day. They enjoy it very hot and very sweet. E and I don't take sugar in our tea, and I have found a few relatives look a little surprised when we decline the sugar bowl. I've seen three to five spoonfuls of sugar go into some tea cups! The tea usually has a bit of tea masala spice in it and it's very milky. I quite like it actually, but I'll be happy to go home and have a cup of plain old English Breakfast with a dash of milk in just over a weeks time. I've drunk so much tea in the past week... So so much. :)
I think I've tried every traditional Kenyan dish now. Some I love, some I could leave haha.
Chapatis- a flatbread made of flour and water, there's a process to make them soft and flaky and they are so simple, yet so moreish!
Ugali- a starchy maize meal cake. It's cooked in a big pot and turned out onto a plate, then eaten with your hands. We were very lucky to have our ugali made by a Luhya woman (the tribe most famous for perfecting the art of ugali) and it was soft, and had a delicious smoky flavour from being cooked over an open fire. The Kenyans ate so much of it, but I just couldn't fit more than a few slices in!
Pilau- spiced rice. Nothing unusual. Spices include cumin, cardamom, cinnamon and cloves.
Sukumawiki- braised kale with tomatoes and onion and seasonings. It also often has coriander in it, but I can't eat that so it's been left out. It's really tasty and quite salty and goes perfectly with ugali.
Githeri- a bean and potato stew, sometimes with maize (corn) kernels in it too.
Mukimo/mokimo (also called Irio?)- mashed githeri (or mashed potato and peas), sometimes with dried kale power to give it a green colour. I could only manage a few mouthfuls, it was so sticky and so starchy I found it hard to swallow (literally!)
Matoke- potato and banana stew. The banana is not sweet, it's a green savoury banana (we call them plantains). My mother-in-law added a bit of chilli to hers. I didn't mind it, but couldn't eat it everyday.
Nyama choma- roasted meat. Usually beef (cheap but tough) or goat (expensive but softer). It's cooked over charcoal and rivals any of our Weber roasts for flavour, but not texture. It's very chewy and your teeth get a workout. Still, very very tasty if you're a meat eater! I saw a few stalls cooking 'kuku choma' which is roast chicken.
Kachumbari- a side salad of tomatoes and onions, sometimes chilli and sometimes coriander.
Mandazi- deliciously light triangle doughnuts. They have a hint of cardamom or something in them, we had them for breakfast down at Amboseli. Yum!
Mutura- I didn't eat this one, it's a traditional Kenyan sausage made from ground meat and goats blood, encased in intestines. I'll pass thanks. (I refused to try black pudding in the UK too!)
So that's a but about family and food. It's hard to put down in words all the experiences and thoughts that go through my mind everyday here, it's so much to absorb and I've found it hard to focus at times especially when the aunts and uncles return to speaking Kikuyu or Kiswahili because it's easier for them to maintain a conversation (but they go back to English if speaking directly to me or a topic that I might be interested in). Usually I just smile and sit quietly enjoying my chai while they all catch up in their mother-tongue.
Apparently I'm on my way to being Kenyan. I'm not so sure I'm ready to live up to that expectation, but it's really nice to be accepted and welcomed into the family I've married.
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